Take ME, MY, and I out of your sentence, change your words, change your perspective. Change your world. Author: Lavender Galloway
Years ago, I came in the room and found my husband’s iPad, picked it up and started snooping (huge no no in any relationship by the way). Anyway, I thought I'd find porn or some secret text. Instead, what I found was even worse. It was a book entitled "To good to leave, too bad to stay, by Mira Kirshenbaum."
My heart sunk. He was reading a book to help him decide if he should leave me. I felt this was entirely my fault, that I had pushed him to this. I read a couple pages and the words on his iPad were glowing in my eyes. She doesn't support me, my work, my decisions. Support, support, support. It was clear he needed more support.
My husband had moved back to work the family business. Because of circumstances with my eldest son, I needed to remain in the town we lived in. My husband felt it was the right move for the family. He saw the long-term benefits. He asked me to have faith and trust him. I did not.
In my eyes, I had just delivered our first child, and he was telling me he was moving 200 miles away to work and he would see me on weekends. I fought this idea tooth and nail. For months I questioned the idea of divorce, I didn't want to live with his parents, I didn't want to travel. I hated what was happening and wasn't on board with his plan at all.
Fast forward 18 months into this decision and I'm now reading a book about him considering leaving me, and I'm now 6 months pregnant with our second child.
I made a decision I had never made before. It had always been about ME, MY, and I. MY wants, MY needs, MY feelings. Now I had a Husband and 3 kids. It flat out wasn't about me anymore. It didn't matter how confused my mind was, or how hurt I personally was. I had to set it all aside. I had to think of my kids. I thought of all the reasons I adored and loved my husband. Was the sacrifice of him moving away for a couple of years’ worth losing him forever? NO. Not by a long shot. I needed to grow up so to speak, put ME and MY and I aside.
How did I do it? It wasn't easy, and it's still a continual effort. I started looking for things to be grateful for, I started recognizing my blessings, I started finding the things I loved in the people I hated, I used words like blessed, grateful, positive, and inspire. I did everything I could to put on a good face and just fake it till I made it. I didn't push my husband’s feelings, or I tried not to. I let it happen on his time. On someone else's time. I had to have faith. I supported my husband in his decision and had faith that he had a plan for our family even if I didn't understand it.
I read a quote once from Julia Roberts, she said "you know it's love, when all you want is for the person to be happy, even if you’re not part of their happiness" I loved my husband, I just wasn't showing it properly. To truly love him was to support him, let him fly, let him create. We now have 4 Beautiful children, and life is still not a peach, but it is if we find the good in every day.
Keep trying to be positive, find your blessings, the things your grateful for. Take ME, MY and I out and you'll be amazed at what you see in front of you. It creates a whole new perspective. Give love, even when it's not given. Be kind, even when it's not reciprocated. Eventually it will come. Like everything, it takes molding, it takes time.
Cheers my friends to a simply beautiful future, filled with people, not things.